alexithymia

That evermore sensation. 

Time, days duplicating each other. 

An endless sense of self-rediscovery. 

Questioning and disdains of the new you. 

Let down and shattered. 

With intense hurt.

Predominantly a misty attitude 

Unable to discerning with sanity. 

When you are tangled with the old moments. 

The inexperienced moments when life was life.

Moments splitting your essence. 

Psyche feeling hostility toward the recollections of life. 

Confidence expiring 

Letting go and holding on are now indistinguishable. 

Intoxication is now the comfortable alternative. 

Hallucinating away constantly

A new solace that stifles all hedonism. 

Just your self-pride keeps you going. 

Tumbling into a incapacity to recognize emotions. 

Questioning the purpose of existence   

Lusting to be dead   

Your regret subduing your motive. 

On unpleasant sunsets. 

Clenching on anything the universe brings. 

With bizarre prospects that you can retain. 

A feeling of prestige and of comfort in this unthinkable validity 

evermore in futility. 

Working in rotations to the same end. 

Tossed about by surges of loneliness.

Going back to the wrongs ones. 

Looking about for them. 

Lusting to be dead. 

melancholy. 

Seclusion. 

Lost. 

Estrangement.