I am Scared to lose you

This blog is a joint piece with Nagawa Michelle and it first appeared on her blog https://wp.me/pbXjHO-32

I Am scared that I will lose you someday. The spark is slowly dying down. The phone calls and texts don’t come as often. I feel you drifting further and further. I wonder, is it something I did? Is there something wrong? You ought to talk to me because I am scared to lose you.

Can you please stay in this moment and enjoy life with me. You came into my life at the precise moment when I needed someone, I was lost until you found me. With you I am in my special place. So would you please stay in this moment with me and enjoy life with me?
Please heal my emotional wounds and never stop. You’re the antidote to my turmoil. They hurt me before and left damage that I thought would be permanent until you came along. The healing is actually happening and at a tremendous speed. This is a miracle and so please keep healing my emotional wounds and never stop. You’re my only doctor.

I don’t know why you loved me back, am not sure of your reasons but I wish they last forever. Those are words I wake up to, day dream with, and sleep to. “I love you.” I am not sure of why you love me, I intend to find out though but those words will last me a life-time. Because I love you too and always will.

I desire us to grow together in every element (financial, pursuit, and career) not just aging but develop into successful humans. I want to build you in all aspects; socially , financially , in your career. This will be an all-round relationship where I am in this with you, through it all. I want to be that partner that you can rely on to get it done. This will be a successful life together for you and me.

I hope and pray am there when you are happy and when you are sad. This journey is not smooth and therefore the good and bad times will be there but trust me to be there through it all. I will be that shoulder for you to cry on and that comfort you need to be re-assured that everything will be alright. It most certainly will be.

I don’t want us to ever hurt each other. I hope we never hurt each other and even if we do, may we have a built in mechanism that helps us cope with the pain and eases the reconciliation process. We are in this to together. We can always deal with our reality.

I fear to regret ever happening/ meeting. I hate regrets, I don’t plan ever regretting meeting because that will shutter all that we have had and built together. I am holding onto the special moment when I met you even when we are at crossroads because I don’t regret that moment. It was a beautiful start to a life-long journey and I treasure it.

I want you to inspire me forever. I want you to be my purpose to wake up and work hard. Keep inspiring me, keep showing me that despite the odds, you can always rise to your full potential. Keep being my reason to wake up and give the day, the best I can because I know rewards will always come through, you have shown me that.

I can move on very easily. Alright that is a lie, I can’t move on easily, but if that is the road I am to take after all our history, then that is what I will do. You have taught me the importance of strength on this journey and this will be my time to exercise my strength. I will hold onto the bitter sweet memories.

I decide not to move on because I choose youI make the decision to stay. Because despite everything else, I choose you. East or west, home is best. You’re my home.

Together we have nurtured this beautiful bond that the world is a witness to. Creating our own story that our children will look at say we made it despite the odds is the bond I am looking at. So beautiful that many will want to take after us or do better but that might just be impossible because we only can do what we do best.

We can not give up on our efforts just like that. Let’s keep fighting, let’s endure, and let’s race to the finish line. As long as we have each other, we can do anything. Us against the world.

Our relationship is a child we have grown together for a time now. We know our flaws, we know our strengths,our likes and dislikes and we are still growing. We have so much discovery to do. I hope you’re ready to trail the adventure of a life-time with me.

A special child. Needs special care and attention. Needs constant love and you’re my special child. I will always be here whenever you need me.

Am ready to always fight for us, for you : each time we knock walls and hit dead ends because I want and chose to love you. I won’t give on us, I will fight till the very end. Are you in this with me?

Nagawa Michelle you can find her blog here

14 thoughts on “I am Scared to lose you

  1. I don’t know if it’s reality or just a piece but there is great exposure of insecurity in this piece and this puts a man in a feminine position and if this woman is alpha enough she can easily get the mantle to manipulate this niga without fail, I don’t support narsicism however try to entail some beat of it in your writing and also some bit of bragado. Poetry shouldn’t necessarily be a simping ground or a place to sound vulnerable

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s